Dork Productions

I don’t know if you’ve had a chance to look at Barack Obama’s Flikr page, but it’s got over three thousand photos on it.  Honestly, I’m not sure if it’s even Obama running his Flickr page…when does he have the time to upload all of these pictures?  At night?  Doesn’t this man sleep?    Where does he get all the film for his camera?

It’s a good collection of pictures…but there was one specific photograph I found particularly interesting.

The caption reads:  Democratic Presidential Nominee, Senator Barack Obama participates in the first presidential debate with Senator McCain at the University of Mississippi in Oxford, MS on Friday, September 26, 2008. And people are drooling all over it.

You want to know what I see in this picture?  An anti-social nerdy body not unlike the basement dwellers that spend all day playing World of Warcraft.

Allow me to dissect everything wrong in this picture.

First of all, what the heck kind of mirror is this?  It’s reflecting an image of himself BEHIND HIM!  Is this some crazy new age mirror that only democrats know about?  What If I looked into a mirror and saw my reflection on the wall behind me?  Then it would be like my real self was the reflection and the reflection was me.  That doesn’t even make sense.

Second of all, if Barack Obama is actually preparing for a debate in front of the entire nation, why is he studying BLANK PAGES?  Usually when I study, I look at my notes or make flash cards, and I most definitely do not spend my time reading non-existant words on unused sheets of paper.  Perhaps Obama writes in invisible ink, and only he possesses the X-Ray contacts needed to read it.

Excuse me Mr. Obama, is that a purse?  Is that where you keep all your make-up and coin wallets?

Look at this empty chair.  Don’t you have any friends to come sit down next to you, Mr. Obama?  Is this why you look so sad in the picture?  Because you’re lonely?  You could have tried to find a random stranger to come fill the seat…maybe you did try that and everyone said no.

This sink is too clean.  Do we really want someone with OCD to be the president?

Is that an…ironing board, Sen. Obama?  Can’t you hire someone to do your own laundry?  I mean, didn’t you raise like 30 million dollars last month or something?  That could probably get you a butler.  Or you could have picked a woman as your running mate.

Are those Huggies Pull-Ups by your chair?  Those meant for toddlers with bladder control problems.  I would expect something like this to be in McCain’s dressing room, but not yours, Mr. Obama.  It took me a while to get things under control as well.

So this is how Sen. Obama prepares for a debate:  he gets high as a kite.  Do we really want to elect a president so lazy that he doesn’t even bother hiding his bong from the press?

This one just pisses me off.  A dead hooker.  Are you serious, Sen. Obama?  This not only a felony of some in some states, but it also makes you look bad to the public eye.  I would suggest in the future not to have any dealings with prostitutes, or to get a bigger trash bag so the legs don’t stick out.  If she is not dead, then I suggest giving Eyes Wide Shut Tom Cruise a call…that guy works miracles.

In conclusion, I’m not sure why everyone is in awe of this photo of Barack Obama.  It does nothing but hurt his image.  I haven’t been this embarrassed since the time John McCain put his campaign on hold to fly to Washington and help rally a bailout plan that ended up crashing and burning into the ground.

- jack

Tagged: Features, politics, stupid