The Great DP Milk Chugging Contest
The rules were simple:  Try to drink an entire gallon of milk under an hour.  If
you throw up, you are finished drinking.  If you run out of time, you are
finished drinking.  Whoever finishes the gallon first, or drinks the most milk
after an hour, is the winner.
The Contestants:
Kyle Kimura:  Kyle is going into this chugging contest very confident he will
be able to win it.  His strategy is simple:  drink a lot of milk at the beginning
and then slowly work through the rest of it during the hour.
Micah Peterson-Brandt:  Micah is actually a milk chugging veteran.  He has
tried this many a time, and knows what to expect while drinking the gallon of
milk.  He's got something Jack and Kyle don't have:  experience.  Let's see
how he does.
Jack Brungardt:  Jack has been drinking milk his entire life and is pretty sure
he'll come out on top.  He has also been known to eat many things.
And now we begin!
Right off the bat, all three contestants filled their cups.  Kyle slurps down all
the milk in his cup as quickly as possible, and somehow managed to drink
almost half a gallon of milk in less than ten minutes.  Micah and Jack could
only sit back and watch as the milk quickly drained out of the gallon and down
Kyle's mouth.  It seemed Kyle was quickly going toward a commanding lead,
as Jack and Micah were taking their time finishing the first couple glasses.
Kyle knew he may be the first person out of the chugging contest, and
decided to drink as much milk as he could before he blew chunks.  He
struggled to drink one glass of milk before.......
...losing it all.  The juggernaut known as Kyle Kimura was officially out of the
contest after only 16 minutes had elapsed.

Watch Kyle throw up by clicking this link!
Jack's leaning back in his chair and taking it easy.  He knows to take his
time...after all, he didn't want to end up like Kyle.  Micah was also doing
pretty well...or so it seemed.....
Micah seemed to be all right so far.  He was laughing at people's jokes, and
having a good time.  But it was soon revealed that Micah had been wearing a
mask.  He true feelings were revealed only minutes after Kyle had blown
chunks.
He started pounding the table in pain.  It seemed as though Micah was about
to give in to the almighty feeling rising in his stomach.  Quickly and quietly, he
snuck away from the group of spectators to do his business.
Micah threw up all over the lawn, after around 19 minutes had elapsed.  It
had been an admirable effort.  Micah drank more milk than Kyle, guaranteeing
himself at least a second place finish.  For those of you who cannot figure out
where Micah is in the above picture.....
...maybe that will help you out a little.  

Also, you can watch Micah throwing up here!
With Jack taking the "slow and steady wins the race" route the entire
chugging contest so far, he soon realized that at the rate he was going he
would run out of time.  Throwing all manners aside, he picked up the gallon of
milk and drank straight out of it.
After about 45 minutes had elapsed, Jack held his gallon of milk proudly for
everyone to see.  He had drank more milk than his competitors.  Jack had
won the competition, making it the second first place finish for him in a DP
chugging contest.  But would he be able to drink the rest of the gallon before
the hour was over?
This was all the milk Jack had left.  Four measly cups.  Ten minutes left.  
Would he be able to finish?  Well...as it turns out...no he would not.  

While Jack did manage to drink three of the cups, he simply could not down
the last one before time ran out.  He said "there was no room in [his]
stomach for any more of anything, or else it would explode and kill [him]."
The contest was over.  Jack came out in first, Micah in second, and Kyle in
third.  The above picture gives you an idea of how close the contest was.  
Kyle says his strategy was all wrong.  Micah says he tried his best.  And Jack
says he had the worst stomach ache of his life because, despite drinking all
that milk, he never threw up.
THE END


Back
Soon Kyle realized he had made a terrible mistake when he chose to drink the
milk that fast.  He had to stand up and work through the pain that was
raging in his stomach.  The only choice bystanders had was to sit back and
watch Kyle fight against the terrible fury that was inside of him.
Kyle left quite a mess behind.  Nothing a good ol' hose couldn't fix, though.

Now it was down to just Micah and Jack.
Now it is all up to Jack.  It looks like he couldn't help but laugh at Micah's
misfortune.   Or maybe all of the lactose from the milk was making him crazy.  
Who knows.  Can he drink the entire gallon of milk under an hour without
throwing up?  Maybe.  Let's see.
The Infamous Milk Chugging Contest
"...a little bit of everything"
Place your bets, ladies and gentlemen.  Who will win: Kyle, Micah, or Jack?