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You will notice more and more the lack of updates when school gets closer and closer to starting. Then you
will notice more and more the abundance of updates after school has been going on for a month or two. I
always have to be 100% ready the first week of school, and then when I realize this new school year is not a
big deal, I go back to being my normal self. I lean back in my chair and look around. I take pages from my daily
planner and crumple them in to little paper balls to throw around the room.
Tests. Tom Joad. Yellow rafts. Settlers killing Native Americans. Moses. I read everything, it's all stored
my mind. At least I hope it is. I can't shout out everything I read and know - I can't name all the characters in
the books and say where they grew up, I mean. But I know I read all of it, and when I see the question on the
test asking me for the name of the cotton plantation where the Joad family worked, I know I will be able to
recall the information, remember things I had not been able to think of by myself. The memory will be fresh,
just as if I had just read the book yesterday. Sometimes we just need a little push to get the memories and
information to come out of our head.
There are familiar faces.. New fresh faces. Faces that remind me of a week-old dinner that has been taken
out of the fridge and put in the microwave for a reheating. Faces I will get used to as another year goes on.
Faces soon to be familiar faces, engraved in your mind.
Going back to school does strange things to your mind. It erases all memories you had of your summer,
and brings back memories you had forgotten at the end of the last school year. You'll walk by an old classroom
and remember yourself sitting in the desk at the back of the room, crumpling paper into a ball and tossing it
around with some of your friends. It's like it just happened yesterday.
7/26
"Get out of here!"
"Go home!"
"Do you want me to plant this bat into your skull?"
The whole experience of playing Capture the Flag at night can change when you add a drunk person wielding a
baseball bat into the mix. Let's just say a good game of Capture the Flag will end a little prematurely if one
shows up.
The drunk may accuse you of sneaking around his property, threaten to kill you with his high-quality Easton
bat, and/or grab you by the throat. On some occasions, the drunk will also break anything you are carrying
with you (IE a $30 water gun).
When approached by a drunk holding a baseball bat, you must show respect and be calm. It may just be a
person who got lost on the way home from the batting cages. It may also someone hired by the other team to
distract you while they steal your team's flag. Only when he uses the baseball bat to destroy something he
took out of your hands can you be a little more confident that he is not joking around.
When asked by the drunk what your name is, give out a fake name, such as 'Kyle' or 'Tyler.' If he claims it
isn't your real name, just ignore him; he's drunk and will forget it in a couple minutes anyway.
If that was written in a text book about what to do when approached by a drunk man wielding a baseball bat
while playing a rousing game of night time Capture the Flag, I guess I would have followed it word for word.
I'm thinking that he overreacted just a little bit. Though I'm glad it happened because it was hilarious.
In other news, this website has been getting more hits than ever for some odd reason. Whatever the reason,
this is good news. So I suppose just keep spreading the good word of DP to your friends and significant others.
7/18
Summer boredom will always happen. When you've read all the books for next year's English class, played the
heck out of all your video games, and organized all your DVDs into alphabetical order, there is just nothing left
to do. Friends just sit around watching TV, trying to think of stuff to do.
We could go to Taco Bell again. Or maybe this time Winsteads. Maybe go to the pool, but it's closed right
now. I don't have a pool ID anyway. Hey, howabout we TP someone?
Off to Walmart to buy toilet paper, at eleven thirty at night. A little early for TPing. But this is just a quick
little thing to keep up occupied for a little while.
One dollar for a pack of six rolls. There are five of us. We can each have our own. Of course, none of us
wanted to be the one to go up to the cashier and buy them. When you throw the rolls of toilet paper onto the
counter, the cashier gives you one of two looks every time. It's a look that says either "Ooh, they're gonna
have some fun" or "Okay, but not in my neighborhood."
So we made Kyle buy all the rolls. He carried all of them in his hands and had to carry the money in his mouth.
The cashier gave him the second look.
Driving for ten minutes to do a TP job that will take five. All went well when we arrived. Every time a car
would drive by, we'd duck behind a tree or run to the side of the house. When the lights disappeared we'd run
back into the front yard and start again. The trees were big and leafy, every other role would get stuck up in
the branches.
Another car. The same car. We ran to the sides of the house and waited for it to drive by. It stopped in the
street, right in front of the house.
Looks like they had come home right in the middle of it. Or maybe it wasn't them.
A thirty-year-old man wearing a cowboy hat got out of the car. "What the **** are YOU GUYS DOING?"
That doesn't sound like him. "I'm GOING TO RING THE ****ING DOORBELL RIGHT NOW." Then he
laughed and got back into his car and drove away honking.
Now, that was a little bit odd. But it was funny. If I was driving and saw kids younger than me TPing
someone's house, I would have done the same thing.
We finished up, and went home.
Who knows who we'll TP tonight. Who knows were our summer boredom will take us.
7/7
My sleeping habits are out of wack. I either don't get enough sleep, or get more than enough. I can never get
just the right amount. I hate waking up mid-afternoon, because then I feel I've wasted most of my day. But
what else should I expect when I go to bed at six in the morning?
I like waking up before noon because it makes it seem as if the day is longer, and I could probably do something
productive, like light off fireworks in my backyard and throw black cats at the neighbors dogs. Not to hurt
them or anything but to give them a little scare, and to make those dogs a little more tough and aggressive.
My neighbors yelled at me once for throwing firecrackers at their pets. As I stood there listening to them yell
at me, I pulled my camera out of my back pocket and took a picture. The dogs had started associating any
flashes of light with the firecrackers, which they had originally associated with a signal to turn angry and attack.
The flash from the camera pissed them off and they started attacking their owners. I, of course, ended up
having to break up the fight that had started. To do that I had to take another picture with the flash on.
Through my fire cracker training, the dogs had learned that a second flash of light means "Stop attacking your
owners."
In the end, I got some really awesome pictures that I will cherish for the rest of my life.
Stupid neighbors not knowing how to control their own pets. Sheesh. I need sleep.
6/26
Welp, it's been a slow summer so far. Even nature agrees. The birds are chirping slower than usual, giving off
the impression that they don't really care about anything. The snakes and possums are so lazy that they only
get halfway across the street before they get tired. I swear that I have seen more roadkill this month than I have
my entire life. And I do believe the grass has stopped growing, because I have only mowed my lawn twice so
far...but that might just be because I'm lazy also.
Micah did bring up a good idea one night. We should go and roadkill someone's house. There has been a recent
influx in the animals that have been hit by motor vehicles and left for dead. I bet if I started collecting those
dead squirrels and rabbits right now I could get a pretty big stash by the end of next month. I know it's sort of
gross, but it would be hilarious if someone you hated woke up and looked out his or her window only to see
piles and piles of dead animal flesh all over their lawn and windows.
The only trouble is finding a place to store the roadkill. You can't keep it outside because it will decompose,
and you don't want to keep it inside for obvious reasons.
I do know there is some sort of agency that drives around collecting the roadkill to keep the roads clean.
Maybe if I am in the right mood I could steal one of their trucks and get one of my friends to ride in the back
while I drive. My friend could chuck the dead animals at any cars that may happen to drive by.
I could do that, but I'm too lazy. My lawn probably needs mowed.
