7/2 - I can't even sleep in during the weekend because the film school apparently thinks I'm
computer illiterate and is making me wake up at seven to attend Editing Boot Camps.
I woke up at seven, got over to Dodge by eight, was done in an hour and a half. I edited the hell
out of the footage they gave us. All but two of my classmates were there until eleven thirty...so
basically what I'm trying to say here is that I think it will be an...interesting semester. Though the
boot camp was boring and uneventful, there was one highlight which made my day.
The first highlight: Watching the girl next to me try to put a miniDV tape into a camera for about
five minutes. She put the tape in backwards the first time (to which the camera responded by
beeping angrily), and then she tried putting it in another (wrong) way and it still didn't work. Sure, I
could have helped her out, but I didn't. She fumbled with it for some time, and all the while I was
just staring at her, smiling.
Anyway...Let's get to the juicy part of the update. Here are some animals you might never have
known about if not for me.
computer illiterate and is making me wake up at seven to attend Editing Boot Camps.
I woke up at seven, got over to Dodge by eight, was done in an hour and a half. I edited the hell
out of the footage they gave us. All but two of my classmates were there until eleven thirty...so
basically what I'm trying to say here is that I think it will be an...interesting semester. Though the
boot camp was boring and uneventful, there was one highlight which made my day.
The first highlight: Watching the girl next to me try to put a miniDV tape into a camera for about
five minutes. She put the tape in backwards the first time (to which the camera responded by
beeping angrily), and then she tried putting it in another (wrong) way and it still didn't work. Sure, I
could have helped her out, but I didn't. She fumbled with it for some time, and all the while I was
just staring at her, smiling.
Anyway...Let's get to the juicy part of the update. Here are some animals you might never have
known about if not for me.
| Jack's Wild World of Weird Animals! |
I debated whether this picture would be in bad taste or not.
Oy, mateys! Welcome to the Wild World Of Weird Animals! You are about to see the wildest and
weirdest animals in the world!
weirdest animals in the world!
Awright mateys, first up we got the NARWHAL!
Now, I had been brought up thinking that narwhals
were known by all. After all, they are so unique and
interesting that I figured most people would have seen a
picture of one before. But aye! I mentioned a narwhal
once in a conversation with my friends and they had no
bloody idea what it was! So here it is.
The Narwhal roams freely in the waters of the arctic by
the North Pole. In fact, if any of you blokes saw the
talkie "Elf" with Will Ferrel, you may remember a
narwhal popping out of the water toward the very
beginning and telling Buddy that he hopes he finds his
dad.
Now, I had been brought up thinking that narwhals
were known by all. After all, they are so unique and
interesting that I figured most people would have seen a
picture of one before. But aye! I mentioned a narwhal
once in a conversation with my friends and they had no
bloody idea what it was! So here it is.
The Narwhal roams freely in the waters of the arctic by
the North Pole. In fact, if any of you blokes saw the
talkie "Elf" with Will Ferrel, you may remember a
narwhal popping out of the water toward the very
beginning and telling Buddy that he hopes he finds his
dad.
Narwhal
As you can see here, the Narwhal is your basic whale, with only one tiny little difference: It had a giant tooth growing out of its
head. The large tooth is found mostly in male narwhals, and it used to attract the females (the larger the tooth, the more mating
for the male narwhals. Of course, I am a firm believer that size does not matter). Oy, once time I wrestled a narwhal, and I
beat it to a bloody pulp!
head. The large tooth is found mostly in male narwhals, and it used to attract the females (the larger the tooth, the more mating
for the male narwhals. Of course, I am a firm believer that size does not matter). Oy, once time I wrestled a narwhal, and I
beat it to a bloody pulp!
| The narwhal's tooth is more powerful than Gandalf's staff. |
Geoduck
Oy, what is there to say about the geoduck that hasn't been said
before? It basically just a freakish animal that God denies making
because he's embarrassed.
As you can see, the geoduck looks like a rather large banana that got
slammed into a rock. That's basically what it is, except instead of a
banana it's a long protein siphon and instead of a rock it's a clam shell.
Geoducks live underwater and can burrow into the ground to look for
food. They have a life expectancy of around 150 years. Oy matey,
that's bloody old! Their long age can be contributed to the fact that
they have no real natural predators.
before? It basically just a freakish animal that God denies making
because he's embarrassed.
As you can see, the geoduck looks like a rather large banana that got
slammed into a rock. That's basically what it is, except instead of a
banana it's a long protein siphon and instead of a rock it's a clam shell.
Geoducks live underwater and can burrow into the ground to look for
food. They have a life expectancy of around 150 years. Oy matey,
that's bloody old! Their long age can be contributed to the fact that
they have no real natural predators.
| The seal of Nunavut, a territory in Canada. Look at how happy the moose and narwhal are. |
Geoducks mean BIG business in the Asia area. Geoducks are a highly regarded cuisine on the other side of the
world. They have a sweet crunchy texture to them and are considered a rare tasty treat.
Also, the geoduck is the mascot of the Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. There motto up there is
"Let it all hang out,." probably in reference to the somewhat...phallic...shape of the animal. lololol
Oy! One time I was swimming down under by Tasmania and caught myself in a heard of these beasts! Ah crikey,
you don't want to know what these animals did to me!
world. They have a sweet crunchy texture to them and are considered a rare tasty treat.
Also, the geoduck is the mascot of the Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington. There motto up there is
"Let it all hang out,." probably in reference to the somewhat...phallic...shape of the animal. lololol
Oy! One time I was swimming down under by Tasmania and caught myself in a heard of these beasts! Ah crikey,
you don't want to know what these animals did to me!
| There is something slightly homoerotic about this picture. |
Blobfish
| Gooooo Geoducks! |
Crikey! What an ugly little fiend! Wow. Just look at it for a
while. Look at the drool coming out of it's mouth. Look at the
five o'clock shadow on its chin. Man.
The blobfish is arguably the ugliest and most depressed animal on
planet Earth (not including Emos). It pretty much hates all people
and life in general. Because it knows it is so ugly, the blobfish
retreated to the bottom of the ocean and there it remains to this
very day.
It eats anything edible that happens to float past it.
while. Look at the drool coming out of it's mouth. Look at the
five o'clock shadow on its chin. Man.
The blobfish is arguably the ugliest and most depressed animal on
planet Earth (not including Emos). It pretty much hates all people
and life in general. Because it knows it is so ugly, the blobfish
retreated to the bottom of the ocean and there it remains to this
very day.
It eats anything edible that happens to float past it.
Pangolin
| The pangolin, seen here climbing a tree, is a crazy mother****er. |
Pangolin, oy matey! These animals are happy for know real reason. I mean look at that
pangolin in the picture. All he's doing is hanging on to a tree and he has a huge smile on his
face like it's the best moment in his life.
So basically, pangolins are mix between an armadillo and an anteater. The scales on its
back are made out of keratin, the same substance human fingernails are made out of. The
scales are also razor sharp, and when threatened the pangolin will curl up creating a
RAZOR BALL! A razor ball is the perfect weapon.
A pangolin can also spray people or animals the same way a skunk can. Look out!
pangolin in the picture. All he's doing is hanging on to a tree and he has a huge smile on his
face like it's the best moment in his life.
So basically, pangolins are mix between an armadillo and an anteater. The scales on its
back are made out of keratin, the same substance human fingernails are made out of. The
scales are also razor sharp, and when threatened the pangolin will curl up creating a
RAZOR BALL! A razor ball is the perfect weapon.
A pangolin can also spray people or animals the same way a skunk can. Look out!
Mark Wahlberg
Mark Wahlberg is a wild beast that
cannot be tamed.
I think we all saw Boogie Nights.
cannot be tamed.
I think we all saw Boogie Nights.
| "I'm the guy who does his job. You must be the other guy." |
| The End! |
"...a little bit of everything"
